Psychotherapeutic Counselling Specialist

How do I make the right decision?

18 Aug, 2019

This is a question that clients often ask me, and it’s usually followed up by “What would you do (or advise me to do) in this particular situation?”.

I really wish I could give them a foolproof answer.  But I’m not them and I also know that there have been times in my life where I’ve made some great decisions and other times when I’ve made really terrible decisions.  None of them have been life or death situations but some of them have had a significant impact on me and other people in the process.

For example, I have turned down opportunities as they seemed too risky.  I have taken jobs that I didn’t really want because that was the expected next step for me.  I have stayed in some relationships too long and let others go too soon. 

I can’t go back and change my decisions no matter how much I want to.  However, I can learn from my mistakes. 

It took me a while, but I realized that by relying solely on my intellect I was ignoring the information the rest of my body was giving me.

The following steps sum up what I have learnt about making decisions and, while, they are not foolproof they have certainly helped me make better and more thoughtful choices.

  • With any important decision, stop and pause. Give yourself time to sit with it.  Be present.  Acknowledge that you do have choices, even if none of them seem like great choices.
  • Ask yourself what are you assuming about the situation and your choices – and they really true?  Would someone else agree with you, even though they feel true to you?
  • Talk to someone about the dilemma. Don’t ask them for advice – they aren’t you, it’s your decision, your choice and your responsibility.  Lay out the different options and the consequences.  Tell them what you are assuming about the situation.  Ask them to challenge your thinking. 
  • We can all become attached to our way of seeing the situation.  Talking to another person can help us be available to new ideas.
  • Bring your body into it.  Don’t stay in your head and treat a decision as an abstract puzzle to be solved like a crossword or a Sudoku.  We make our best decisions with our entire being.  Get a sense of what your body is telling you about each of the options.  Tune into the different areas of your body:  your throat, chest, and stomach.
  • If you don’t have to make the decision immediately, repeat the process a few days later and see what happens.
  • And if you still can’t make up your mind try tossing a coin. Your reaction to the result will give you important information about what you want to do, which path you should take. 

If you’d like to have a look at how other people approach tough decisions, you may want to look at the following TED talk.




What’s so good about talking?

Psychotherapeutic Counselling Specialist You may be wondering what the point of talking to someone, anyone, about what’s going on for you right now? Well, it turns out that talking is actually a really brilliant way of dealing with stuff. When...

Infant Loss

Psychotherapeutic Counselling Specialist Losing a child is one of the hardest things anyone can experience and it’s something you won’t ever get over  – though you may find a way to live with what’s happened. For the last decade, Chantal Lockey...

More inspirational TED talks….

Psychotherapeutic Counselling Specialist After I posted my Top Ten TED talks I challenged a few of my colleagues to come up with their favourites.  Here’s Nicola Vincent’s.  Brené Brown – Listening to Shame...

October, a time for reflection…….

Psychotherapeutic Counselling Specialist October is here and with it comes a change of season.  I’m the first to admit that autumn has never been my favourite time of year, with its darker mornings, shorter days and the knowledge that the cold...

My top ten TED talks

Psychotherapeutic Counselling Specialist I am a big fan of TED talks and so it seems are a lot of other people. The links below will take you to the ten TeD talks that have had the biggest impact on me over the years. The power of vulnerability...

Moving forward after loss

Psychotherapeutic Counselling Specialist If you were asked to list of all the losses in your life you’d probably include events like the death of a loved one or maybe a relationship break up. If you spent more a little more time thinking back...

What if nobody ‘likes’ me…?

Psychotherapeutic Counselling Specialist New Research illustrates  the real impact social media can have on our mental and emotional wellbeing – and it’s not just our children, adults are just as affected as our digitally obsessed teenagers....

No Regrets..? Living your best life

Psychotherapeutic Counselling Specialist Counsellors and psychotherapists generally don’t recommend books to clients, yet I sometimes find myself mentioning Bronnie Ware’s book “The Top Five Regrets of the Dying” in the counselling room. The...

How to cope with mental health issues when it feels like the world is going mad

Psychotherapeutic Counselling Specialist I was recently asked to provide some tips for coping with anxiety by journalist Violet Fenn for an article she was writing for Metro. Violet suffers from chronic anxiety disorder and in the article she...

Seven tips for living with a depressed person

Psychotherapeutic Counselling Specialist Living with someone who is depressed can be really tough. You may feel confused, feel as if you can’t say anything right. You want to help but you don’t know what to do. You may even have got to the stage...

Contact Jacquie in confidence

I know that it can often take a lot of courage to contact a counsellor in the first place and so you don’t want to wait a long time for a response I will therefore usually respond to your enquiry within 4 hours of receiving your message.

This form collects your name, email address and telephone so we can add you to our contact list that we use to contact you about your enquiry and occasional newsletter updates. You can choose whether you wish to be included on our database or not. View our Privacy Policy for information on how we protect and manage your submitted data.

Jacquie Hampton


If you would prefer to meet face to face, I can provide a safe, confidential and supportive space in the centre of Shrewsbury. I usually work from Swan Hill Therapy Hub at 5 Swan Hill Court, Shrewsbury SY1 1NP, however, I do travel to other locations.

Opening times

I hold sessions most weekdays between 8am and 9pm and also on Saturday.
You can contact me to book a session via e-mail or telephone or text me on 07858 757 561.

How to Book

Simply fill in the enquiry form above or use one of the following and I'll be in touch with you shortly.

Call in confidence: 07858 757 561.

I know that it can often take a lot of courage to contact a counsellor in the first place and so you don’t want to wait a long time for a response I will therefore usually respond to your enquiry within 4 hours of receiving your message.

This site uses cookies to enhance your experience. By continuing to the site you accept their use. More info in our cookies policy.     ACCEPT