Psychotherapeutic Counselling Specialist
How do I make the right decision?
This is a question that clients often ask me, and it’s usually followed up by “What would you do (or advise me to do) in this particular situation?”.
I really wish I could give them a foolproof answer. But I’m not them and I also know that there have been times in my life where I’ve made some great decisions and other times when I’ve made really terrible decisions. None of them have been life or death situations but some of them have had a significant impact on me and other people in the process.
For example, I have turned down opportunities as they seemed too risky. I have taken jobs that I didn’t really want because that was the expected next step for me. I have stayed in some relationships too long and let others go too soon.
I can’t go back and change my decisions no matter how much I want to. However, I can learn from my mistakes.
It took me a while, but I realized that by relying solely on my intellect I was ignoring the information the rest of my body was giving me.
The following steps sum up what I have learnt about making decisions and, while, they are not foolproof they have certainly helped me make better and more thoughtful choices.
- With any important decision, stop and pause. Give yourself time to sit with it. Be present. Acknowledge that you do have choices, even if none of them seem like great choices.
- Ask yourself what are you assuming about the situation and your choices – and they really true? Would someone else agree with you, even though they feel true to you?
- Talk to someone about the dilemma. Don’t ask them for advice – they aren’t you, it’s your decision, your choice and your responsibility. Lay out the different options and the consequences. Tell them what you are assuming about the situation. Ask them to challenge your thinking.
- We can all become attached to our way of seeing the situation. Talking to another person can help us be available to new ideas.
- Bring your body into it. Don’t stay in your head and treat a decision as an abstract puzzle to be solved like a crossword or a Sudoku. We make our best decisions with our entire being. Get a sense of what your body is telling you about each of the options. Tune into the different areas of your body: your throat, chest, and stomach.
- If you don’t have to make the decision immediately, repeat the process a few days later and see what happens.
- And if you still can’t make up your mind try tossing a coin. Your reaction to the result will give you important information about what you want to do, which path you should take.
If you’d like to have a look at how other people approach tough decisions, you may want to look at the following TED talk.
https://www.ted.com/talks/ruth_chang_how_to_make_hard_choices
Contact Jacquie in confidence
I know that it can often take a lot of courage to contact a counsellor in the first place and so you don’t want to wait a long time for a response I will therefore usually respond to your enquiry within 4 hours of receiving your message.
Jacquie Hampton
Address
If you would prefer to meet face to face, I can provide a safe, confidential and supportive space in the centre of Shrewsbury. I usually work from Swan Hill Therapy Hub at 5 Swan Hill Court, Shrewsbury SY1 1NP, however, I do travel to other locations.
Opening times
I hold sessions most weekdays between 8am and 9pm and also on Saturday.
You can contact me to book a session via e-mail or telephone or text me on 07858 757 561.
How to Book
Simply fill in the enquiry form above or use one of the following and I'll be in touch with you shortly.
Call in confidence: 07858 757 561.
I know that it can often take a lot of courage to contact a counsellor in the first place and so you don’t want to wait a long time for a response I will therefore usually respond to your enquiry within 4 hours of receiving your message.